Education

Empower a Girl: Fight for their rights

by Milimo Mapanda
Created Jul 06, 2022 | Lusaka
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Early this morning, my secretary called me at 6am saying she had received a message there was a serious case that needed action, lucky I was awake doing some paper work, so I asked her to connect me to the person who sent the message. So I called her and introduced myself and before I could say hello properly the young lady whispered while crying "I have doom in my hands,am taking it just now because i just want to die. I quickly said sweetheart you sound like a very beautiful and intelligent young woman, if you kill yourself the country will lose out and you will break my heart so much, when she heard that she said you mean "me" I said of course sweetheart and she said "me"am just a chamber, am just a dog am a nobody, am just a toilet where everyone seats on and walks away. I sensed a lot of serious confusion, hatred,anger, low self esteem and serious suicidal thoughts so I said "can I send the driver to bring you to my house so that we can have breakfast together?? she said me?? You mean me?? I said yes and she broke down, she cried with so much pain and made me cry with her. She told me her location and the driver brought her home. When she arrived the first thing i saw was a tired, hopeless looking young lady with a very sad face.She rushed to hug me and broke down. I let her have that moment and we walked to the table so that the two of us could have breakfast. She refused to eat and i understood her because when you are so hurt most of the times you lose your appetite and food becomes meaningless. She started narrating to me her situation. Cynthia's father was working as a security guard before he died when she was just 11 years old. Her mother had no job or business so they relied on her father. When he died things become sour it was a very hard life Cynthia recalls her mother picking food from one garbage bin to the other at shopping malls to feed her and the twin brothers who where just 3 years old. She remembers sleeping on the cold floor with an empty stomach for so many months. Her mother tried to find a job but nothing was coming up and it become very difficult to feed her twin brother who she witnessed become so thin because of hunger. After some months, her mother started coming home late saying she had found a job. Most of the times she came as late as 5am but life changed a little because now they could afford better food compared to picking food from the bins. They also moved from one small room to house that had two rooms. Cynthia's mother started bringing different kinds of men to the house who would later give her some money or food. It become a habit and the kids got used to seeing different kinds of men. At 12 Cynthia become the mother of the house taking care of her brothers while her mother was away. On this day her mother came in a big vehicle with a man who looked like he was in his 60s.She brought a lot of food, new clothes and lots of toys Cynthia says that was the happiest day in her life and she was so happy When he said he would take her back to school because she always dreamt of becoming a teacher. The man continued coming mostly 3 days in a week and would bring lots of things. Cynthia's nightmare started shortly after, every time her mother was bathing or cooking the man would touch her sexually in ways that made her uncomfortable and she become withdrawn and every time he come she would run to the bedroom or hide at the neighbors house and any chance he got he would touch her in sexual ways and would threaten hunger if she told anyone. Cynthia told me that she very well remembers it was a Sunday and the man came in the night. He told Cynthia's mother that he had forgotten to buy some alcohol and gave her money to buy at a nearby bar and he would check on the kids. Cynthia says she peed on herself, she was so afraid and when her mother closed the door off to the bar the man came close to her took her by force to the bedroom removed her pant and started defiling her. While in the act that act the mother entered the house and found him. She threw the alcohol to the floor and started screaming and yelling at the man. She ordered Cynthia to go and wash the blood in the bathroom while cursing at the man. He put on his trousers and went to console her she become sober and Cynthia says she heard him promising to give her a lot of money.He then walked to the car while my mother followed him behind as they where talking with low voices and he gave her money and left, the next day mum bought a bed , curtains and some pots and food. The man came again and this time my mother had ordered me to bath and lie on the bed and not scream as the man defiled me, she told me it would stop hurting soon and we would have a lot of money to buy a TV and Stove. She told me not to tell anyone and in the process when I would hide or refuse she would hit me so bad, I become so bitter, I become a rebel, I was so angry at life, i hated everyone including myself, i felt useless, scared and alone every second. This went on for so some time.My mother would bring in different men to her bedroom and she would bring different men to my bedroom. I lost count of how many men defiled me and every time this happened I would ask God to take my life I would cry everyday to sleep until at some point I stopped crying but instead started hurting myself with a knife and razor or anything sharp so that I would maybe make myself ugly or the wounds and scares would scare the men away. At 15 years when my mother become very sick I found my escape I ran away from home. That night I packed a few clothes and some food as I was running it was one of the best days of my life I smelt freedom and that night I slept under a bridge. I become a street kid and hunger kicked in, I tried sweeping and cleaning toilets but I was only given coins and the only way I knew how to survive was selling my body so I started again patronizing bars and standing on the roads, so many men some older older men picked me up took me to lodges some gave me a few coins others just raped and dumped me by the road. I become emotionless I felt nothing in my soul and I had unimaginable anger towards life. In the streets I met a friend doing the same thing and we decided to rent a one room together. Here different men visited us and that's how we survived. I become a full time prostitute and I become so reckless I cared less about my life and just wanted to die.I now started scouting for men on Facebook and it worked like wonders for me. Last month while in the streets i met a friend from the neighbourhood selling nuts on the road, she told me my mother was very sick. I refused to go there and we exchanged numbers with her. Within that month she called to say my mother died, I never attended the funeral HIV took her life and I was so happy in my mind the devil had died and finally I would breath again but after some days I felt bad and guilty especially that my brothers where taken to be kept by people but still I never bothered to go back home. It is last week when my client called me to meet up and as we where having sex in his car his wife showed up and found us. She was holding a baby and a little girl on the other hand. The look in her eyes even before she said a word reminded me of the look my mother would have every time she would pick food from the bins to feed us.That night I couldn't sleep for the first time in the longest time I felt something for someone , I felt so much emotion, i felt bad for what I had done to her and I that night i told my friend that I had stopped prostitution, she laughed at me and for sure she was right because just after 3 days I got back to the streets. At 19 am so broken and dead inside several times I just want to kill myself i drink myself to death and I always feel cursed. Please I need help, most of the times I feel like a wicked person inside sometimes I feel like the devil lives in me.Most bad days or worst days I replay most of the rapes in encountered and the many times I sleep with so many men I feel empty. As Cynthia was sharing her story I noticed that she had transformed into another person. Surely you can't wish rape or defilement even on your worst enemy. Rape and Defilement kills the very inside that makes up people, it kills that which makes us human and turns the victims into dead people walking. Rape and Defilement is happening more in homes than outside let us us protect our children, don't sell your girl child to be Raped and Defiled for financial benefits put yourself in her shoes, these are our future leaders. Let help her be back to school and have a positive future
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